IWSG: The Writer's Block Edition, Part 2? (#24)

Insecure Writers' Support Group (IWSG) is a really awesome meme that you should be doing along with the rest of us writers. Unless you truly are happy with your writing and don't feel the need to vent about your insecurities because they don't exist for you. But, really.... Don't they?  
IWSG is hosted by Captain Ninja Alex at his blog, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

This month is really just like last month. I'm still stuck in a writer's rut and not able to figure out very well what I want to do with my manuscript. I have some ideas that I didn't have last month, but it all seems so overwhelming for some reason.

Maybe my imagination is exaggerating this, but it feels like I have this enormous task ahead of me and I just can't bring myself to tackle it. It's like having to solve a very large jigsaw puzzle and you're not even sure you have every piece needed to complete it. I'm honestly really bad at jigsaw puzzles and don't like them, so this is an apt analogy for me.

I wanted to publish a book this year, but this is looking like it's not going to happen, which is not the end of the world. It sucks to have to fail at a goal, but I didn't realize my goal was so improbable at the time I made it. I can still hope for next year, provided I can get this first draft finished some day. 

The good thing is I'm still very interested in my story and am not getting bored with it or the characters. When that happens, I know my story is toast. I won't continue to write something that is no longer holding my interest, just like how I won't continue to read a book that is not intriguing me. With few exceptions, I'm a character-person over plot, so I have to really love the characters in a story to keep me going, and likewise, I have to love my own characters enough to tough it out with a long manuscript.

Already some of my ideas for future stories are falling by the wayside because the characters aren't very interesting to me anymore. But, my current manuscript has an already beloved character, Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice, so I don't think I'll be getting bored with him anytime soon. He's been a favorite for many years now, so there's a silver lining in that dark cloud!

Do you ever get bored with your stories before or after writing them? What hooks you into a story--character or plot?

  

IWSG: New Pen Name Edition? (#18)

Insecure Writers' Support Group (IWSG) is a really awesome meme that you should be doing along with the rest of us writers. Unless you truly are happy with your writing and don't feel the need to vent about your insecurities because they don't exist for you. But, really.... Don't they?  
IWSG is hosted by Captain Ninja Alex at his blog, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

I know it's been months since I've been regularly publishing blog posts, but I'm still alive! I've been writing, just like I said I was going to for my New Year's Resolution post. Since I made it a very easy-to-follow resolution, it's been 'cake' keeping up with it. I pretty much write everyday, although, because I get so far out ahead of my word count pace, I can afford to take some days off. It's pretty cool, and I've never been able to get myself to stick with a regular writing plan before, until now. So, I'm very happy with that. *silently celebrates* 

But, of course, I still have insecurities. Lots of them. Too many, like what do I blog about on a writing blog as an unpublished author? Since I can't ever come up with anything to blog about, hence my most recent post being published back in January, I just rarely do anymore. What is there to even say? "Hey guys, I'm writing.... Writing still.... Still writing.... Thought y'all might be dying to know I'm STILL WRITING." Uh... I just don't think anyone really wants to know about my boring life so badly.

Anyway, besides all this anxiety and angst over blog writing, I've been having serious issues with being able to fathom publishing my horrid stories. I typically never finish any of them, but that's sort of why I don't. Because I know they will be read by real super mean people one day, and because of how bad they are, those people will either lose all respect for me, or tear me a new one for deigning to make them waste a few hours of their life on my drivel.

On top of that, this anxiety is the kind that keeps me awake all night. I'm not exaggerating about that. When I write something I intend to publish one day, I get insomnia really bad. Like, REALLY BAD. The kind that will kill you if it even keeps up for a full week. The kind that makes you go insane for real. So, you can see how averse I am to finishing anything I write.

This, naturally, makes me ponder, "What is my life?" I can't be an author for a living as per my dream if this keeps up. Should I just quit? Probably. But, I thought about different scenarios of not quitting, and the only thing that seemed to greatly relieve my anxiety was the idea of publishing under a pen name. Yes. Because I can't put crap into this world with readers knowing it came from me (and, no, I don't write erotica, or anything like that. I just write crappy YA that embarrasses me). I do think I'll be able to do it so long as they believe me to be someone who doesn't actually exist.

I think one day, after years and years more of writing, I might be able to write books that don't make me or other people cringe, but, in the meantime, I can make a few bucks a month off some unsuspecting readers who either don't mind reading low-quality crap, or who just won't realize what they've gotten themselves into until it's too late. I'll keep the costs of producing the books very, very low and just see what happens. I know plenty of books have fared surprisingly well and are worse than mine. Might as well do it and see what it's like to be able to sleep at night, again.

So, assuming I actually do this in the future, I'll mention it, but won't let any of you know what the books' titles will be, nor the name I'll be using to publish them under. Unless you are going to be helping me edit the stories (although, they aren't going to be painstakingly edited), I need to keep everyone's awareness of my connection to them at a strict minimum.

Drastic times call for drastic measures. I'm sorry to those who will hate me for inflicting more crap onto the self-publishing world, but there's no law against doing it and sometimes, even those bad authors make a buck or two. That extra income will be very helpful as I've got credit card debt to get rid of. In a perfect world, I'd be writing at the level I want to be right now and publishing best sellers, but we all know that quantum reality is just too out-of-phase for me to reach. Someday, though. Maybe someday.

Have you ever published under a pen name? If so, why and how was your experience with it?

Underrated Treasures Blogfest! Beware the Awesome....

An opportunity to share some underrated TV, films, books or music that just aren't getting enough love! Share your favorite lesser-known gems with everyone in this BLOGFEST, created by the all-knowing, all-powerful Captain Ninja Alex Cavanaugh.

For this Blogfest, which is brand new, as far as I know, I love having the opportunity to share obscure gems with other people who are not aware of some amazing things out there that I know about. I'm going to separate things into categories: 

TV 

This TV show hails from Japan and it's quite popular over there, but here in the U.S., it's only hugely popular with the anime-loving crowd. Needless to say, that's not a very large segment of the population. *sad face :(* I'm a very big anime and manga (Japanese comic books) fan, so if I'm recommending an anime TV series to people who never watch anime, it's because this one is so different from the norm. 

Shingeki no Kyojin, a.k.a. "Attack on Titan" is like Japan's

version of "The Walking Dead" American TV series. But, these zombies are HUGE. Imagine having to battle zombies as large as skyscrapers! Yeah, it's a very harrowing, terrifying series, but so satisfying. The characters are genuinely freaked-out about their circumstances and not too prepared for what they have to deal with. Many twists and turns abound, so be sure to give this one a few episodes to really show its true nature. Don't expect this show to go easy on you--many characters die. DIE very horrible deaths, even the ones you come to care about. 

When the man-eating giants called Titans first appeared, humans retreated behind massive walls. After a hundred years of safety, a colossal-sized Titan smashes through the defenses, unleashing a flood of giants and carnage in the streets. Eren Jaeger watches helplessly as one of the creatures devours his mother.
He vows to kill every Titan walking the earth.

Eren and his surviving friends enlist to fight against the insatiable monsters. The future looks bleak, but there's more to Eren than meets the eye: he may be humanity's last hope against extinction. From the director of "Death Note" and "High School of the Dead" comes the series Anime News Network calls an intense, visceral, and graphic thrill ride. The Titans have come to feast. Anything can happen. No one is safe.

Available to watch on Netflix streaming in its original Japanese audio, or on Cartoon Network's Toonami block on Saturdays at 11:30pm in English dubbed voice over. 

MUSIC 

I'm going to be schizoid and jump from this very intense, terrifying TV show to my favorite music composers of beautiful, ethereal music. Try and keep up.... 

Adrian von Ziegler, an independent composer from Switzerland, has had my ear for the past year now with all his gorgeous high fantasy and dark gothic music. This guy is seriously a genius and needs to be hired for film and video games of every kind. He bases himself on Youtube and has quite a good following, making a living for himself from the sales of his audio tracks. Take a listen below!

Brunuhville is a contemporary of Adrain's and a good friend.

Bruno hails from Portugal and composes very similiar-sounding music to Adrian's, but in a very different style. If you end up liking Adrain's music, you're almost sure to like Brunuhville, as well. He, too, is based on Youtube and has a very nice-sized following, so far. He has a fantastic ear for extremely emotional music. Watch out or you may end up balling your eyes out! 

I'm just so happy to have found these masters of music! They are very young and have full careers ahead of them. I can't wait to hear what they dream up next. 

STAND-UP COMEDY 

Now, I'm going to keep up my unpredictability with a plug for a fantastic, but lesser-known stand-up comedian that I have recently discovered. Brian Regan is an American comic who has been doing stand-up since the 1990's, although I've never even heard of him. Maybe you have, since he's been around for so long. He's absolutely hilarious and a very clean family man. You can enjoy his comedy with your teenagers, since the younger ones might not get his jokes. Then again, maybe they will!

And, there you have it! Have any of you ever heard of these lesser-known gems? I'd love to hear from others who like any of this stuff, too.

IWSG: The Winning Camp NaNo Edition! (#15)

Insecure Writers' Support Group (IWSG) is a really awesome meme that you should be doing along with the rest of us writers. Unless you truly are happy with your writing and don't feel the need to vent about your insecurities because they don't exist for you. But, really.... Don't they?  
IWSG is hosted by Captain Ninja Alex at his blog, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

I happily report that I have won Camp NaNoWriMo from last month! It's really great to have a big chunk of my novel WIP completed and I'm well underway to finishing it.

Somehow, by some miracle, my writing partner Lan Chan decided to join me at Camp NaNo and we proceeded to create our own private cabin. These cabins feature a chat system, like instant messaging, and we found we were the only ones chatting with each other at first. I suggested we go to the NaNo forums and ask if anyone else wanted to join our cabin, and voila! Some people came along and we had a full cabin after about a week.

We all bonded so well with each other during the month, we were able to boast of having one of the few cabins that was active and exciting. Most people complained in the forums about how boring and dead their cabins were. Since we found so much strength in our numbers, we decided to keep the magic alive after our cabins would close, and now we are all still chatting everyday in our very own Skype group! Now we have a good half of us to still encourage each other and hold each other accountable.

I can't say enough about how important it is to declare your writing intentions and have other people keeping you honest. It made a big difference that everyone could see if I was falling behind in my writing, or if I was keeping up a good pace. It's far too easy to fall off and not get your work done when no one else really cares, or just doesn't really know what you're doing in the first place.

Anyway, I had no idea Camp NaNoWriMo this year would change my writing habits forever. I needed something like this, so I'm happy it worked out so incredibly well. Thanks to Lan and all my other cabin mates for your support (Denise, Toni, Olivia, Jess & Allison). I think we can be so much more sure that we will accomplish our publishing dreams because we all have each other to rely on. 

The Faerie War by Rachel Morgan, the third book in the Creepy Hollow series, releases today!

It's party time!!! 

Today is the official online release of Rachel Morgan's third Creepy Hollow novel, The Faerie War. After that cliffhanger at the end of the second book, fans can finally find out what happens to Violet and everyone else in Creepy Hollow. If you'd like to get your copy, you can find it at the following online stores, plus a few others:

Amazon US | Amazon UK

Barnes & Noble

iTunes

CreateSpace (print)

There are seven other teaser images displayed on various blogs today. If you'd like to see them, you can visit the following fabulous bloggers:

And there's a major giveaway going on!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Insecure Writer's Support Group (#7)

Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG) is a really awesome meme that you should be doing along with the rest of us writers. Unless you truly are happy with your writing and don't feel the need to vent about your insecurities because they don't exist for you. But, really.... Don't they?  
IWSG is hosted by Captain Ninja Alex at his blog, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

I really need another IWSG....

Lately, I've come to realize that I simply don't enjoy writing anymore. I used to love it, which is why I do it. I used to love crafting a riveting story and making my characters say and do incredible things! But, nowadays, I just want to do anything other than put my butt in a chair at my computer and actually write.

I still love the aspects that I used to love about story-telling. Creating characters and worlds for them to live within is just as exciting for me still as it is for you fellow writers. But, it's the pressure of trying to make this a career and be serious about it that's sapping all the fun out of writing for me these days.

I'm not sure when this happened, but I only realized it recently. It could be that I've been unhappy like this for a couple of years, but wasn't perceptive enough to sense it. It is so much harder to write for serious than it is for fun. I'm not necessarily about to throw in the towel, but I just have to be honest about how un-fun this whole fiction writing thing actually is for me. 

I also figure I could be unduly unhappy because my confidence in my writing took a steep nosedive when I received a very, very insensitive critique from a former critique partner. After reading those comments, I actually DID give up my writing for a little while. Thankfully, my writing partner encouraged me to get back in the saddle again and I eventually did. 

But, I don't think I've ever recovered from that nightmarish critique. I still can't to this day write anything without being terrified I'm going to mess up and write terrible things, or make all those same mistakes I made according to that former crit partner. I write slow and spotty and can't seem to make myself sit in my chair and just let the words flow out of my fingertips. I'm lucky if I can write even a few days each week. I've written only 25,000 words since this year began.

So, I don't know what to do to regain my confidence. Nothing I do seems to work, although I can't say I've tried everything. I don't even know what to do other than to keep on keeping on as best I can. Mostly, I want to LOVE writing again, like how I did when I used to write for fun and not seriously. Is that even possible again? 


Do you still love writing, even though you have to be a serious author these days? Have you ever lost your confidence and regained it somehow?


 

WIP IT GOOD Blogfest

The WIP IT GOOD Blogfest is a one-time blog meme opporutnity for authors to share some information about their current manuscript Works-in-Progress. Hosted by DL Hammons & Elise Fallson.

I know I keep doing blog memes on this blog and I'm so sorry, everybody! One of these days I'll have original content again--I swear. 

In the meantime, I decided to do this fun blog meme at the last minute because I am a bad blogger and can't come up with blog content to save my life. But, at least this is something, right? So, I will answer the questions pertaining to this meme about one of my many unfinished WiPs (and I have several, but this one I'm currently working on). This is my newest one.


1. WIP Title:

Rise of Iron (1st book in a planned series)

2. Word Count (projected/actual so far):

8,212 actual words written thus far. Should be topping out over 100,000 by the time it's finished.

3. Genre:

Young Adult sci-fi apocalypse with some fantasy elements. 

4. How long have you been working on it?

I think since last month, April 2013. 

5. Elevator Pitch (if you came across an agent in an elevator ride, what couple of lines would you use to summarize your book?):

A teenage girl saves a man's life by turning him into a machine (a cyborg) so he can eliminate all the evil robots destroying the entire city of Los Angeles. 

Yeah, that's basically what this wacky story is about without all the frill and fluff of language!

6. Brief Synopsis:

Mindy Collins refuses to leave the city even after the metal has come to life and has already destroyed most of Los Angeles. She chooses to stay and fight, but she's not strong enough on her own. When she saves a man's life after being nearly killed by one of the cities many living metal robots, she has no choice but to recreate him into a living robot, too. With the strength of ten men, he's the only hope the city has of actually exterminating the conscious steel that is determined to wipe out all organic beings on Earth. 

7. Are you looking for a Critique Partner?

No. Have that squared away already.

8. Are you looking for a Beta Reader?

Yes, if anyone is interested! I'm open to having more than one.


Anyway, this is what I'm working on right now. It's coming along slowly, but I guess that's how I work. I find I need at least 9 months to create an entirely new world before I feel l've got it all figured out. So, I'm still conjuring my story and world building and will be for some time to come. 

What are you writers currently WIPping?

 

Celebrate the Small Things! (#2): Editing Edition

"Celebrate the Small Things" is a blog meme hosted by VikLit at Scribblings of an Aspiring Author

I've got another small victory to celebrate this weekend.... I'm so, so tired--just exhausted--because I finally finished a two-week intensive edit of my manuscript! 

I've been working on Camy Tang's (aka The Story Sensei) Deep POV Worksheet and I can tell you it. Is. Brutal. But, I highly recommend it to every writer no matter your experience level because I'm positive you will see your writing in a whole new light. I'm seeing just how shallow my POV has been all this time, and even how shallow a lot of the writing is from novels I've been reading lately. 

I never even got to the last tip, #8, because I just can't even understand it all that well and I figure I'll have to try it out during a future editing round. I need to rest and let my critique partners look at my WiP for now.

It's a small accomplishment, but feels like I just dug a tunnel through a mountain. Whew! I'm really happy, but I hope I get faster at this with some practice......


What small thing are you celebrating this weekend? 


Join the "Celebrate the Small Things" Blog Hop Every Friday! 

The rules are simple: you post something small you'd like to celebrate - tidying that cupboard, finally getting to the gym. You join the linky list. You hop around other people's blogs and say YAY and CONGRATS and join in the happy feelings.  
 

Top Ten Tuesday (#2): Books I HAD to Buy...But Haven't Read

"Top Ten Tuesday" is a weekly (super fun) book blog meme hosted by the awesome folks at The Broke and the Bookish.

Geez... I am so guilty of this week's topic and am currently trying hard to correct my ways. I make sure every other book I read is one I've had around for at least one year or more. I am soooo bad.....

TOP TEN BOOKS I HAD TO BUY...BUT ARE STILL SITTING ON MY SHELF UNREAD

 

1. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling

I'm so bad about reading the HP series and I still need to read Book 2. I know y'all are looking at these words cross-eyed right now, but don't hate! Some people were older when these books came out. Old enough to not want to read children's books. And, some still don't really dig Middle Grade. ("Someone" is me, by the way. HP is good, though!)

2. Throne of Glass by Sarah Maas

I've been excited to read this one for a long time now, since late last summer, and I still haven't read it. It dismays me quite a bit to have to admit that. I read the prequel novellas and they were fabulous, so I don't know what it's going to take to get me to finally read the first novel. (I like the cover of the UK edition better than the U.S. one.)  

3. Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld

I haven't read any Westerfeld, but he's super popular and I just need to sit down and read one of his books. I like steampunk, so I figure I'll like this one. 

4. The Iron Thorn by Caitlin Kittredge

I've had this one for over a year and was so sure I would have read it by now...but no. I have way too many books and not enough time or energy to read them! This book has one of my favorite covers. Gorgeous. I need to find out if the contents are equally as gorgeous. 

5. Darker Still by Leanna Renee Hieber

This book has a super interesting premise and I should have read it ages ago... ugh. Story of my life. I think I read some of the first chapter and was blown away, so why haven't I dived into this? I'm clonking myself on the head as I type this (because I have three arms, actually. Very handy...). Victorian men in portrait paintings totally speak to me, too. And, you thought having three arms made me weird...? Heh.

6. Dark Mirror by M.J. Putney

Is this one about a man in a mirror? Actually, I don't know, but it seems to be about a school for magical people. Maybe it's like HP for the teenagers of the Regency era. Seriously, that sounds so cool! I'd probably love a book like that more than HP on premise alone.

7. Linger by Maggie Stiefvater

I actually have Linger and Forever and it is taking me forever to read these books. I read Shiver, Book 1, what feels like ages ago (nearly 2 years) and I think I'll have to reread it, since I can't remember too well what happens in it. There are werewolves that turn when they get too cold, or something like that. It was really good! 

8. Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George

I'm not even familiar with The Twelve Dancing Princesses, but it sounds pretty sweet. At least the synopsis for this book sounds pretty sweet and like something I should have read a really long time ago...but I haven't. I need a second pair of eyes so I can read while I'm doing other things (like blogging). 

9. The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken       

This book is fairly knew (December 2012), but I meant to read it as soon as I got it after Christmas last year and still haven't. It's being hailed as super good dystopian fiction and I want to see what I think of it. 

10. Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake

I like the premise for this book as well, and I downloaded a free audiobook version of this last summer, but I still haven't listened to it yet. I'm not big on audiobooks, but a free book is a free book, especially when it's this book. I just take what I can get. I'm starting to realize how much I dislike ghosts, but I still love the idea for this story. I only hope it's not too heavy on the horror, since I'm not big on horror. 


What books do you have on your shelves collecting dust because you've been slacking off about reading them? I can't be the only person who has too many books to read and not enough time to read them! Or, can I...?

       

Insecure Writer's Support Group (#5)

"Insecure Writer's Support Group" is a monthly meme host by Alex J. Cavanaugh for writers held on the first Wednesday of every month.

I haven't done an IWSG post in quite a while! It's time I got back on board with this meme, as it is a very cool one. 

I think my writing insecurities are all centered around the not knowing ahead of time whether your book will ever sell to actual readers before you publish it (or, get it published). When it comes down to it, reader support for your novel is the most important thing, otherwise there's not much reason for anyone to publish a book for the whole world to read. 

Whether or not you want to be "successful" in that you'll sell a lot of copies, you want to be READ. You want readers to notice your book and like it and send you emails and tweets about how much they liked it. This is the validation you want, sometimes more than money earned from selling a large number of copies. 

Sure, I want my books to sell well, I'll admit that. Why would I want them to sell poorly? But, more than anything, I want readers to fall in love with my stories and characters and tell me how much they can't wait for the next installment of the saga. That would make my life.... 

So, my problem is that I don't know if what I'm writing at this time is a story that will find an eager audience at all. I'm not saying I have no confidence in my story, but that I don't like being blind to its real potential. It may be fated to fall like a brick and I'd never know it at this point. That bothers me sooo much! 

This is when I can say I envy the video game industry because every developer can put out trailers and information about the game they are currently developing to see how it goes over with real gamers. If they've messed up something, they'll be told by the gamers and they can fix things accordingly YEARS before the product is finished. That's amazing to me. If only something like that were possible in the book industry. 

I suppose it is, but only for those with existing large platforms. Someone like J.K. Rowling could get on her blog (does she even have a blog?) and conduct a poll on which of her latest book ideas seems the most appealing to her existing fanbase and they could all weigh in. She could write a book accordingly and it would probably kill it in sales and fan appreciation. 

But, that's not possible for me and for most of us writers to get that size volume of feedback from potential readers. I certainly can't conduct any polls when I don't have a readership at all at this point. We have no choice but to shoot in the dark and hope we hit our target. If we don't, we have to keep on shooting in the dark until we do. Seems a frustrating strategy to me. If only there were a better way....


Anyway, that's my insecurity for this month. Does this problem ever affect any of you writers, too?