Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG) is a
really awesome meme that you should be doing along with the rest of us
writers. Unless you truly are happy with your writing and don't feel the
need to vent about your insecurities because they don't exist for you. But, really.... Don't they?
IWSG is hosted by Captain Ninja Alex at his blog, Alex J. Cavanaugh.
IWSG is hosted by Captain Ninja Alex at his blog, Alex J. Cavanaugh.
I really need another IWSG....
Lately, I've come to realize that I simply don't enjoy writing anymore. I used to love it, which is why I do it. I used to love crafting a riveting story and making my characters say and do incredible things! But, nowadays, I just want to do anything other than put my butt in a chair at my computer and actually write.
I still love the aspects that I used to love about story-telling. Creating characters and worlds for them to live within is just as exciting for me still as it is for you fellow writers. But, it's the pressure of trying to make this a career and be serious about it that's sapping all the fun out of writing for me these days.
I'm not sure when this happened, but I only realized it recently. It could be that I've been unhappy like this for a couple of years, but wasn't perceptive enough to sense it. It is so much harder to write for serious than it is for fun. I'm not necessarily about to throw in the towel, but I just have to be honest about how un-fun this whole fiction writing thing actually is for me.
I also figure I could be unduly unhappy because my confidence in my writing took a steep nosedive when I received a very, very insensitive critique from a former critique partner. After reading those comments, I actually DID give up my writing for a little while. Thankfully, my writing partner encouraged me to get back in the saddle again and I eventually did.
So, I don't know what to do to regain my confidence. Nothing I do seems to work, although I can't say I've tried everything. I don't even know what to do other than to keep on keeping on as best I can. Mostly, I want to LOVE writing again, like how I did when I used to write for fun and not seriously. Is that even possible again?
Do you still love writing, even though you have to be a serious author these days? Have you ever lost your confidence and regained it somehow?
I've been thinking about this since you mentioned it and trying to come up with some kind of solution...the only thing I can think of is to write for fun and then publish it under a pen name! Who knows, that one could be the one that speaks to an audience.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to recover from a bad critique. I imagine it would be worse to recover from a bad review. You know what they say though, success is more about never giving up than anything else.
@Lan: I know I need to not let the pressure get to me. I'm just not very good at doing that. But, you're right in that successful people are the ones who don't give up. I am going to have to keep writing until I really enjoy it again, if that can ever happen. Thanks, Lan....
DeleteI wish I had some advice. This has happened to me before as well, so I can say that I know how you feel. *hugs*
ReplyDelete@Dana: Thanks, Dana. I'm sorry to hear that you've been through this, too, although it's nice to see I'm not alone. :D
DeleteThat's terrible that someone crushed you like that.
ReplyDeleteYou can't think about the serious, publishing side of it. Just write for fun. Words flow better that way. With my second and third books, there was pressure to make them even better - and get my publisher to accept them. I just had to shove that aside and write, and the faster I wrote, the less I thought about it.
@Alex: I wish I could turn the thing off inside my head that feels the pressure and write for fun. I want to so badly! I hope I can figure out a way to do that. Thanks so much for your kind words, Alex. :)
DeleteCathy, I'll come out of "character" to reply to this post. I love what you've written, your honesty and concern come through - and I completely understand what you're saying.
ReplyDeleteI've a number of books under my belt. For all my life all I dreamed about was "being an author". I loved my stories, I wanted readers to love them too. The dream did happen, and I wrote more. As you say, it was "fun" to create these worlds and plots and write a twisting, mesmerizing maze of mystery. For the most part, I've enjoyed good reviews, but some bad ones? Oh yeah, I've got those too. After all, we can't please everyone out there.
But the "fun" has waned. While I continue to love my written works, and still desire readers to love them too, there's no more "fun" in wanting to create new stories. To be frank, this concerned me as I wondered, "Will I stop wanting to be a writer altogether?"
What has helped me is to admit it. For RIGHT NOW I don't want to write new mysteries. For RIGHT NOW I will take a break from the pressure. For RIGHT NOW I'll seek another avenue.
What I've done is to channel my energy into this character, I.B. Nosey. He's fun, quirky, silly, bizarre...all the things my books weren't. As Nosey, he gives interviews. This is STILL writing, but I'm going in a different direction. And - it's FUN!!
Please don't knock yourself down. Maybe you just need to rest. Maybe you just need to eat more chocolate. :) But please don't dwell on what the other person said. You are you, you are different. Each day is different. Wake up and say to yourself, "Today I will have FUN."
Best,
IBN a.k.a. Miss Mae
@Miss Mae: Thanks for this long reply! You may be right in that I might need to take a break and give myself some freedom if I'm not having fun. I'm obviously doing something wrong, or I would be. I'm sure I still want to be a writer, but being away from the pressure for a while might do me a lot of good.
DeleteI don't think I could add anything, but to listen to those who have been doing it for awhile. I image it does happen to everyone at some point even if its for a short time. I am new to this writing thing and all though I have had CP's and beta's read my stuff, no real customer's yet, but if you put out your best work and you are proud of what you have done, don't let someone take that away from you. Remember why you started writing in the first place.
ReplyDelete@sydney: You're right, even if you're a newer writer. I should stand firmer in my convictions to write what I want and not let anyone knock me down. Some people are just jerks and don't know what they're talking about anyway!
DeleteTake a break, write in a different genre, under a pen name, take up painting...change it up. Don't be so hard on yourself. Go to any famous book on Amazon and read all the one-star reviews it has. Everybody gets bad reviews. If we all liked the same stuff, there'd be only ten books in the world. ;) Most of all, don't let the CP get you down. Personally, I thing CP's are dangerous. So many don't understand the concept of what they're reading for, looking for, and try to insert their own agenda into YOUR voice. Don't go there. You get your love for writing back or decide you'd rather be creative in some other way. It's inside of you. Breathe and let it bloom on its own.
ReplyDeleteLaura Eno – A Shift in Dimensions
@Laura: I need to do some soul-searching, it seems. Something needs to change, that's for sure. I'm more careful about who my C.P.'s are these days. The ones I attach myself to are careful about what they say to me. But, I still need to do something to regain my confidence. Thanks for your comment!
DeleteTake some classes, learning new aspects and skills for writing will boost your confidence. And try writing some flash fiction, rework and perfect. Once you get one perfect flash fiction piece, you'll feel more confident. Listen to most critiques with an open mind, almost everyone who points out flaws in your writing is trying to encourage you and help you perfect your craft. There are very, very few mean writers :)
ReplyDelete@Charmaine: I might try your idea to write some flash fiction and have it critiqued. Maybe it could do me good. Thanks for you suggestions. :)
DeleteTake a break. Give it time. And rediscover why you like to write.
ReplyDelete@M.J.: Yeah, I'm probably going to be taking a break. I want to rediscover why I write, like you said.
DeleteOh, Cathy, that's awful about the mean review. I think Charmaine has very good ideas to help you regain your confidence. I worked with a CP group where we all wrote short stories and polished them to where we could sell them to the smaller ezines and anthologies. That helps you learn and feel you're professional.
ReplyDeleteAs far as hating writing, I sympathize. I've grown to hate it in the past year and haven't written anything new. Too much effort and too little payback. If that ever changes, I'll let you know.
@Lexa: Maybe I ought to write some shorter works for a while and get some help with them. It could help me figure out how to love writing again.
DeleteSorry to hear that you've grown to hate writing recently. I suppose you don't need to write anything new for the time being, anyway. I hope you also learn to love it again. :)
Goodness, a mere 25,000 words! ;-) Dear me! If you're not getting anything out of it for now, do other kinds of writing. Short stories. Articles. Enter competitions. Submit to theme anthologies which give you a point to focus on and a challenge. Or take a break and review oter people's books. Win win - you get to read lots, you keep writing and someone else gets the promo.
ReplyDelete@Sue: I am taking a break for now. Just going to see if I feel differently after a while.
DeleteI'm so sorry about the insensitive former crit partner :-( Meanie!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I do actually understand how you feel. And it is because there is more pressure now that it's a career for me. It isn't always fun to sit down and write, but I HAVE to because I've got deadlines and people wanting to read my next book etc... which is all FABULOUS and I'm SO grateful that I have the opportunity to make this my career! But sometimes it is difficult to make it fun again ... I think sometimes you have to take a break. A proper break. Writing can SERIOUSLY sap you because you get so emotionally involved in it (well, I do!) If you take the time to enjoy other things for a while, then I think you'll be able to love writing again one day :-)
@Rachel: I think I need to take time away from writing so I can come back to it with a fresh perspective. I hope, like you said, I'll be able to love doing it again! Thanks. :)
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ReplyDeleteOh this makes me so mad. Not at you, of course. A good cp will respect you enough to tell it to you straight, give helpful suggestions, but never hurtful. They'll point out the good and the bad. There must be balance. And there's certainly no reason to tear someone down unless you're as asshat. Cathy, try to find a way to put aside that critique and allow yourself to write without any pressure. It's ok if your rough draft is crap. Allow it to be crap. Most people's are crap. It's in the editing and rewriting where things start to take shape. A good cp will help give you the tools needed to make your wip into something far greater. Please don't give up because I know how you feel. I had something similar happen to me when I first started drafting my ms. You may need to take a step back and shake off all this negativity. I took almost two months off my wip, and now that I dove back in, I love it again. Don't let one person have that much power over you. If anything prove them wrong by making your wip awesome. And yes, I know you CAN do it.
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@Elise: Thanks so much for your concern, Elise. And, thanks for sharing your little story about how you handled the same thing. I'll take time off from writing for a little while and maybe I'll feel better. I'm too close to the project and I need some objectivity.
DeleteHi Cathy. I'm visiting from IWSG.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that a mean critique has left you feeling deflated. Somebody mentioned doing something different like flash fiction. I love writing flash fiction, and you get to write a complete piece, beginning to end!
You should give it a try. It will give you a sense of accomplishment, and may help to restore your flagging spirits...
But DON'T give up!
Good luck!
Writer In Transit
@Michelle: I think I will give flash fic writing a try. It could be easier and help me feel less pressure. I won't give up--don't worry! Thanks so much.
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