Insecure Writers' Support Group (IWSG) is a
really awesome meme that you should be doing along with the rest of us
writers. Unless you truly are happy with your writing and don't feel the
need to vent about your insecurities because they don't exist for you. But, really.... Don't they?
IWSG is hosted by Captain Ninja Alex at his blog, Alex J. Cavanaugh.
IWSG is hosted by Captain Ninja Alex at his blog, Alex J. Cavanaugh.
l am nothing if not a slow writer.... This gives me a lot of anxiety because I have been trying to finish a first draft, any first draft!, of a novel-length story for over three years now and, even though I'm not giving up on my current project, I am still writing it... very slowly.
Perhaps this is just my process--my way of crafting my art. But, unless an author can publish a best seller from the get-go, needing to follow up by publishing many books quickly is essential to making a living out of this type of work.
I'm at least one-third finished with my current first draft, if not even slightly more, which I'm very happy about. But, I've gotten to the point where I'm frozen. It's like climbing a mountain and looking up to see that the top is still VERY far away. And, I'm already very tired, hungry, grumpy, sick of walking, you name it!
I sound like I'm not enjoying writing this book at all, but that's not true. It's a great story that is fun to write, when I'm actually doing it. I'm lucky that what I have produced so far is close to my vision of it. But, I want to be able to stop time so I can rest for a while and not have real time pass. Does that make any sense?
I remember I used to like a TV sitcom when I was really young about a teenage girl whose father was an alien and her mother was human. She had the ability to freeze time and not have it affect her. Can I just borrow that ability for a little while? Like, say for a few months while I rest and not have to worry about how it will be August by the time I'm finished resting for three months in real time?
Anyway, writing may be wonderful, especially when you love the story and characters you're creating. But, it's soooooo exhausting, at least for me. I have so many energy issues, and I can tell you--writing is very draining of available energy. It is the most energy-guzzling thing I do.
I also exercise as much as I can now, which I also love to do. It's really fun and beneficial in all the ways exercise can be. But, sometimes, I get too tired to do it. I enjoy it, but I want to take more breaks away from it than I should in order to benefit from it the most. It's very similar to how I feel about writing. Despite how much I actually enjoy doing these things, I find them tiring, exhausting, and I end up not wanting to do them an awful lot of the time.
This is why I'm a slow writer. I feel bad about it because it seems like I'm supposed to spend every waking moment writing because I love it so much. As if I have nothing else that needs to be done and I only live to write. That's just not true. I think when it comes to creative endeavors, it's not the same as, say doing office work. You don't sit down and just "do" it, get it done. You create. It's not the same as "doing."
Anyone else feel the same? Or, perhaps starkly opposed? O_O
Don't feel too bad: I have a novel, a prequel to my one published novel, still sitting on my computer. If a publisher was waiting on it, I would have finished it long ago, but without a deadline, well, you just freeze. Exactly right. 60,000 words in and still unfinished. It happens. And nice as it would be to write all the time, there are bills to pay. Most of us can't write full time - though I remember once listening to a well known YA novelist who was working at a day job till only two years ago and she only dropped it then because she couldn't go overseas for her writing without getting phone calls from her employer and having to do work-related things while there. It just wasn't possible to do both any more. She also said that while it's nice to think about going into a little cabin in the woods to write, you're better off having other responsibilities to keep you focused on finishing things when you are writing, and I saw her point. Not that I wouldn't like to go off to that little cabin...
ReplyDelete@Sue: Thanks. I don't know if deadlines would help me much. I just need so much time to develop my stories, and it's something that can't be rushed.
DeleteSome people write fast. Some people write slow. Some plot. Others don't. We all write differently, and that's okay, even in this faster-paced publishing world. :)
ReplyDeleteFreezing time would be nice. Or a time-turner. I'd love a time-turner, so I could have enough time to everything in one day.
@Cherie: Yeah, I guess it's not any different than the whole 'plotters vs. pantsers' thing. Everyone writes differently, and I have my own process, which happens to be very slow.
DeleteI still want the ability to freeze time, though. That would be so awesome. :)
Hey, I'm a slow writer too. I'm still working on my first story and I've already spent six years on it. Some things just can't be rushed. But I feel your pain. Sometimes I just want to skip forward until it's all done, but I have to stay patient or else the writing will end up sucking. Critique partners are great for keeping you inspired. At least they help me through the tough times.
ReplyDelete@Ken: Nice to see someone else who needs a lot of time to write and create. I feel like I just can't rush myself because I don't think of everything immediately.
DeleteThanks for your comment!
Like exercise, sometimes you just have to force yourself to do it.
ReplyDeleteI'm a really slow writer. I've learned not to stress over it.
I have a teleporter - want to go back in time?
@Alex: Yes, I do have to force myself to write even when I don't feel like it. I hope I can learn not to stress over my slowness.
DeleteI would love to teleport back in time!!! ^.^
I write with some very prolific writers. It's hard not to feel a little inadequate around them. One thing I've learned is my drafts are more complete (b/c I write slow and self edit as I writ). I have less editing and less "wasted" word count than my friends.
ReplyDeleteWe all write at our own pace and have our own process. You need to find your process (and don't be afraid to change it if you need to).
@Gina: I would feel horrible writing with prolific writers! But, my first drafts are way more polished because I can't help but do a little self-editing, if not a lot, also.
DeleteThanks for your encouragement. I need to be more accepting of my process.
I know exactly what you mean about writing not being the same as "office work"! When I sit down at my desk to write, it's SO not the same as when I sit down at my desk to format someone's book. I can't just DO the writing like I do other more mundane work. It's a lot more demanding to be creative, and it takes longer! I'm fortunate now that I can work on my books pretty much full-time. But back when I was teaching, I had to write in little bits, little bits, little bits. It was frustrating! Felt like I'd never get to the end! (And my first novel turned out to be 120,000 words, which certainly took a long time!) But if you're committed (and you clearly are), you will get there eventually :-) And if your next book also takes a long time to write, then that's just the way it is :-)
ReplyDelete@Rachel: I know, right? Doing something creative is completely different from something mundane. It's like a right brain vs. left brain thing. Being creative takes FAR more time, effort and energy than doing something that requires little brainpower.
DeleteYeah, I'm struggling to accept my slowness at writing, but I just have to accept it. We live in a rush-rush world of instant gratification. I am not really one of those types of people, though. I'm patient and can wait.
Earlier in the week when I was doing those school talks for the FLF and was chatting to one of the other authors, she was saying how we sit at our desks, staring at nothing and doing seemingly nothing, but that's WORK! Because we ARE doing something. Our brains are wrapped up in some plot point, trying to figure things out, or trying to come up with the best combination of words to describe something. And that's so hard for other people to understand, because it doesn't LOOK like we're working!
Delete@Rachel: That's a good point to make. The entire creative process is something that is so different for everyone that you just don't always recognize when it's happening. I'm trying to come to terms with how my personal way of creating works.
DeleteYou are the boss. Take time off, or lower your word count per day for a while until you've rested up. I get it and if you limit how much you write per day for a while you'll still finish. It's not a race. Like you said you are having fun. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from Shout with Emaginette
@Emaginette: Good advice! I should take some structured time off and use that time to do some plotting/planning.
DeleteThanks for stopping by today!
Actually, at the end you pointed out why I keep writing. I love creating and enjoy the intellectual feeling of analyzing my creation, seeing what's wrong, figuring out how to make it better, and coming up with the best way to do that. I'm thinking that if you're 3 years on the same ms, maybe you don't have good enough CPs helping and giving you direction. (I'd never have pubbed without my great CPs.)
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, some writers take 5 years (or more) to get their book done. (I think Stockett who wrote THE HELP took that long.) If 5 years is what it takes for you to get it where you want it - then 5 years it is. Don't beat yourself up. I can feel your determination, which is great! (I swear, every day I think about quitting. Luckily, I'm too stubborn to give up! lol)
@Lexa: I love those same things about writing, too. I haven't been stuck on the same MS for 3 years--that's just how long it has been taking me to finish even one first draft of all my first drafts. I can't finish anything I start, but I will this time. It's just going to take me a very long time to do it. I have to not feel so bad about it.
DeleteThanks for dropping by, Lexa!
I'm a fast writer for about the first 6 lines, lol! The thing is, I’ve learned to accept the fact that my ms is going to take a lot more time that I had original planned and I’ve stopped feeling guilty about that. It won’t help anything to stress over things you can’t control, like time and the creative process. You can force it for a while, but when you get to the point where you’re exhausted all the time, then it’s time to take some time off. Trust me. In France we have a saying that roughly translates to "Too much love, kills love." If you're forcing yourself to write out of guilt and feeling tired all the time, then your creativity is going to take a hit. I've been working on my ms for years and I've finally came to peace with the fact that I'm a slow writer. Accepting the things I cannot change has removed the mental stress that was paralyzing my writing. I’m now more focused and taking a whole month off (as you know) really REALL helped get me back on track. Also, make sure you're getting enough sleep. If you’re working out on a regular basis, then your body is going to need the extra zzz to recuperate. Hugs to you, Cathy and good luck! :)
ReplyDelete@Elise: LOL! I can say I'm a fast typist at least. Sadly, that doesn't help much. Thanks for giving me some much needed French wisdom. "Too much love kills love." I will remember that! I do need to take time to rest and just let my mind do the wandering that it needs to do sometimes. I can't really control that. So.... *shrugs*
DeleteHugs back to you, Elise! :D